The Waiting Is Over

An afternoon with Dr Handsome (in his scrubs for added bonus) has confirmed that I don’t have cancer again. Phew.

I wasn’t really aware just how worried I was until today when I was, well, worried. I went in on Friday for an appointment the hospital had cancelled without telling me, and the admin staff were going to just send me home to wait for another appointment in the post. I asked to see my lovely breast care nurse Julie, who fortunately was on duty, and she went and sorted it all out. I told her, through tears, that I couldn’t wait another two weeks for an appointment and she got me into today’s clinic.Waiting for three weeks was bad enough.

Dr H marked where on my breast he could feel the suspect lump and then sent me round for another ultrasound where they confirmed that there was nothing there but normal, albeit lumpy, breast tissue. I then saw Dr H again to discuss more light hearted matters, like stopping Tamoxibollocks in favour of an aromatase inhibitor now that I’ve had a hysterectomy, and the reconstructive surgery they’re going to do on my good breast to make it match the other one. The AI is for post menopausal patients and instead of stopping oestrogen binding to the cancer cells should they grow, this drug stops my fat cells from producing oestrogen now that my ovaries are no more.

My mum doesn’t think I should have the reconstructive surgery, but she’s not the one with different sized breasts and nipples pointing in abstract directions. Personally I’m pleased they’re going to do it. For me it will be the end of abnormal and a return to having some equality in my chest. I’ve come around to forgiving Bad Tit for trying to kill me now, and would even go so far as to say I feel some sympathy for what it’s been through, what with all that nuking and surgery. It’s time to even up the stakes between Good Tit and Bad Tit so they can be friends again. And I’d like to get back to viewing both of my breasts without discrimination on size, shape, history or pathology. They are just breasts again, albeit breasts I have to keep a close eye on in case they try something funny.